I don't really know where to start, not because a lot was going on lately, it's the other way around. Just a normal week. A bunch of assignments and fangirl activities.
I love how much it is raining lately. The vibe, the petrichor, another excuse to play Bangtan's Rain. Oh, and also the old memories flooding my mind.
I hate myself for not being productive these days. I just scrolled through Twitter 24/7, spent the whole night on Youtube videos. But I still draw, sometimes. I really wanted to go back to my old routinity; reading books. I am planning to read Kafka on The Shore but seems like it is pretty hard to find the book here. Yes, I know that book from one of Bangtan's song, Butterfly. Istg my life is just revolves around them. I know it must be pretty annoying that I've mentioned them a lot of time in this barely-even-one-page diary. I'm sorry for that.
(means that you are annoyed, the exit is that way, thank you.)
It's been nearly four weeks since my birthday but the realization that I am 18 by now hasn't hit me yet. My bithday this year, I'm glad I can't say 'It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to.' Girlie can't relate, for the first time after a while. Perhaps I started to realize, youth can't be forever. We get older each second. I've been in denial all this time.
Time flies. I remember how the seven-year-old me looked up to seventeen-year-olds around me. How I adore them so much and I picture myself, years from that time, as a tall mature girl haha. I wonder what will be her impression seeing myself. Will she be proud? Am I tall enough? lol.
How many time I wished life has a restart button that I can press anytime I want. I really wanna go back to those good old days. When the bed felt really big, when a slice of chocolate martabak could make my mood for the whole day, when there were no worries or insecurities.
But you know what, ten years from now, I'm gonna see these days as the part of the good old days. The Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa: The most beautiful moment in life. So let's just be present. Enjoying the times with my boys, while they're around, just because I know probably in the future, I will be informed months after their actual funeral, and then play Spring Day as tears rolling down my wringkly cheek.
(wow I'm such a creepy freak)
Reality hurts. Funny how I'm always at the both ends, a time being totally blind in denial, but woke af and accepting the bitter things the next second.
Woah, I don't wanna re-read this so that I won't realize that I was just rambling about nonsense things. And--I don't even know how--ended up in some deep emotional shits.
Lastly this is just a friendly reminder for myself: 행복하자
(Let's be happy from now on)
I love how much it is raining lately. The vibe, the petrichor, another excuse to play Bangtan's Rain. Oh, and also the old memories flooding my mind.
I hate myself for not being productive these days. I just scrolled through Twitter 24/7, spent the whole night on Youtube videos. But I still draw, sometimes. I really wanted to go back to my old routinity; reading books. I am planning to read Kafka on The Shore but seems like it is pretty hard to find the book here. Yes, I know that book from one of Bangtan's song, Butterfly. Istg my life is just revolves around them. I know it must be pretty annoying that I've mentioned them a lot of time in this barely-even-one-page diary. I'm sorry for that.
(means that you are annoyed, the exit is that way, thank you.)
It's been nearly four weeks since my birthday but the realization that I am 18 by now hasn't hit me yet. My bithday this year, I'm glad I can't say 'It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to.' Girlie can't relate, for the first time after a while. Perhaps I started to realize, youth can't be forever. We get older each second. I've been in denial all this time.
Time flies. I remember how the seven-year-old me looked up to seventeen-year-olds around me. How I adore them so much and I picture myself, years from that time, as a tall mature girl haha. I wonder what will be her impression seeing myself. Will she be proud? Am I tall enough? lol.
How many time I wished life has a restart button that I can press anytime I want. I really wanna go back to those good old days. When the bed felt really big, when a slice of chocolate martabak could make my mood for the whole day, when there were no worries or insecurities.
But you know what, ten years from now, I'm gonna see these days as the part of the good old days. The Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa: The most beautiful moment in life. So let's just be present. Enjoying the times with my boys, while they're around, just because I know probably in the future, I will be informed months after their actual funeral, and then play Spring Day as tears rolling down my wringkly cheek.
(wow I'm such a creepy freak)
Reality hurts. Funny how I'm always at the both ends, a time being totally blind in denial, but woke af and accepting the bitter things the next second.
Woah, I don't wanna re-read this so that I won't realize that I was just rambling about nonsense things. And--I don't even know how--ended up in some deep emotional shits.
Lastly this is just a friendly reminder for myself: 행복하자
(Let's be happy from now on)
October 1, 2017
11:08 PM
Wow great stories.
BalasHapusSuch a great diary! I love how you write it :D
BalasHapusThat's good ica but in this sentence "I don't really know where to start not because a lot was going on lately, it's the other way around. " actually you can put a comma between start and not. That would be better if you write like this " I don't really know where to start, not because a lot of was going on lately, it's the other way around. ".
BalasHapusit just my suggestion
Thank you, Putri! Will be edited real soon :)
HapusYou must be a Bangtan maniac.. 아주 분명해. Good job!
BalasHapusI AM!!!1! sunbae, teach me korean pls;-;
HapusI really like your diary. That's great!
BalasHapus